I sleep in a bed of cash each night
I'm like Jordan Belfort but on the mic
I got honeys, cocaine, and I don't need Rogaine
My flow so sweet I'm getting Willy Wonka money

All this because I grew up to be a rapper
And as I build up my rapport
Other crackas be evaporating into the background
All other rappers be hidebound

Antagonize me/but I'm trying
bound to seek out new ground
With this new mountain of sound that other rappers can't surmount

To go where no rapper has ever been before
And I implore you listen to me explore
And restore the game to where it should be
Like Sacagawea I am translating
This rap game into whatever you're playing

Whole Foods is callin' my name/like M-Dizzle
Wanna come to down to my store/fo-shizzle
Grab up my umbrella/slight drizzle
Always be prepared/cock my pistol

Strollin' through the aisles when somethin' catches my eye
Is that a cheesecake I spy

Three layers of chocolate with some nuts on top
Grab a couple o' plates/yo I call the shots

Organic macaroni and some vegan bologna
So much freaking grain/feels like a horror movie

Sprouts to the maximum
Organic soap is latherin'
Splatter carnivores in blood
'cause eatin' meat is murderin'

Toss a few more items right into my cart
Save so many animals/it's like Noah's ark
What's a GMO/yo I'm in the dark
But I'm still gonna protest/don't start

Time to check out/go home and eat
So much food/my coffers be replete
Resuable bags packed/my receipt
Check the balance/what is this deceit

Over four hundered dollars for a week's worth of food
I'm a hardcore rapper/but this money/I'm screwed

Is this a scam or some kinda sick joke
Whole Foods makes me feel like a thick bloke
Who has no hope of eating healthily
Not with prices risin' so stealthily

Organic is a self-regulated industry
So it's questionable any of this is trustworthy

Always buy organic/maybe that's true
If you knew you were eating organic food
But where we are/there's no proof of that
You're paying double for an equivalent product

We're at Taco Bell/oh no you saw us
Got a smug look on your face/tasting sawdust

Here's the thing
Some day I'mma be next to you
In the hospital bed IVs and tubes
And I'm gonna turn my wrinkled little head
Right before I take my last little breath
And I'm gonna whisper right into your earphones

How were those Kale chips?

Yo